Cat on stairs, thinking. Human rushing up, down, here, there, everywhere.
Poor Human, never still. Always zooming. Why not sit on sofa, feet up, do nothing? Works for Cat!
Human pats Cat head absent-mindedly on way up stairs. Cat decides. Action called for.
Human scooting back down stairs, in haste, as is wont of human.
Cat moves.
Human side-steps.
So does Cat.
Human misses footing. One Human leg forward, other backward, wrenching noise. Human yells. Human head makes contact with wall.
Human utters mostly unintelligible screeching, though words 'cat,' 'stupid' and 'effing' clearly heard.
Human lands. Enormous thump.
Cat makes self scarce.
Hour later. Human on sofa, feet up, doing nothing, bag frozen peas applied to ankle, gentle moaning. Cat curled on Human lap, purring.
Cat not so effing stupid after all.
When I read of you banging your head on the wall it reminded me of the time I tried to skateboard down the stairs on the lid of a washing bin wearing high heeled boots. One leg was also left behind, head bashed wall and other foot ended up with boot-heel wedged against cocyx. I was alone in the house at the time and the head bashing, when I tried to stand, felt like someone had scooped all my brains to one side with a large soup ladle. I felt lop-sided for the rest of the day, but at least no ankles or animals were harmed in this experiment. The only damage done was to my confidence in my own ability to walk downstairs in high heeled boots with an armful of washing on a dark, rainy day and the fact that I have been left with a somewhat cockeyed view on life.
ReplyDeleteAlso, meant to say, but got carried away, I am so pleased that you are to continue writing coz you are brilliant at it AND delighted to hear you will not be boxed ever again! At least not unless you come gift-wrapped with some pretty ribbon on the outside. xxx
ReplyDeleteGot to commend you on your ambition, though, my dear, wish I could say I'd been as creative as you about it! ;-) And I know you too well to blame skateboarding laundry incidents for your unique view on life, har de har.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see you in March - stairs permitting!
(Thanks for the hurrahs, too.)
Jane x